Mind on Fire
CW: Psychiatric medications, including serious side effects and medical complications; mention of eating disorder
This piece was created using (some) of my leftover psych meds from the last few years. In 3 1/2 years, I was on 17 different psychiatric medications. Most of the changes occurred within a 2-year time span.
I created this art piece as a way to convey my views on all those med changes in a short span of time. My brain filled with medication, I truly don’t think I could have recovered without them. After all, mental illness is an imbalance in our brains. How can that be fully addressed without medical intervention? Medication saved my brain from the fire of mental illness.
At the same time— medications caused me a lot of pain. Switching meds caused nausea, dizziness, and sometimes full on mental breakdowns that sent me back to the hospital. One medication caused me to get large bruises all over my body and feel so exhausted I needed to nap for hours every day. These symptoms were a red flag and my doctor was so concerned I had to go to a major hospital to be tested for Leukemia because my symptoms were so scary. Other medications also caused me to bruise easily, feel lightheaded, have regular blood tests to regulate my liver function, loss of appetite (not great when I was deep in my eating disorder), and weight gain (again, not great when I was struggling with an eating disorder.)
Medication feels like putting out a fire in my brain, even if it takes some tears along the way. Sending love and strength to those who are still trying to find medication(s) that feel like cool water on a fiery brain.
DARCY is a college student, future teacher, passionate mental health advocate, and lover of all things art. She aspires to capture feelings that cannot be described through words. Check out more of her work on Instagram @just.darcys.art.