Garage Door Texture

Alone and Lonely

CW: Depictions of incarceration/confinement

Woken at 07:45 hours,

this day as every for the past

God-knows-how-many mornings.

He stopped counting months ago.

Familiar shouts and clattering, steel on steel.

He’s never been in such constant company.

If he can’t see them, he can hear them.

If he cant hear them, he can smell them.

Two hundred and fifty God-forsaken souls

bouncing off the concrete walls.

 

And yet, never has he been so lonely.

In the middle of this swirl of

doing, coming and going,

he plays the game of acquaintance,

unpleasant pleasantries exchanged

on the landings when custom,

advantage and survival says he must.

But he dreams of solitary, a box just for him.

A place of quiet, or quiet as it gets.

 

Lonely for solitude and spiritual guidance,

gently closing the door while all others slam.

Lonely for recognition, his currency no use

where his is now, he trades in

sensitivity, not noise and bravado.

Lonely for connection, the true self

hidden, protected by ever thickening

walls of stoicism and cynicism from

which the heart may never escape again.

 

Bells ring, doors open.

Saturday association, and solitude

wishes will have to wait.

Image by I.am_nah
Image by Rene Böhmer

WANDERING BIKU is a poet from the U.K., though chooses to identify as a member of the United Nation instead. Writing on subjects including addiction, mental health/illness, dissatisfaction and spirituality, he has been published in several anthologies in 2021 as well as writing a commissioned piece for October 2021’s Recovery Month, on behalf of an addiction charity. Twitter - @BikuWandering