CW: intrusive thoughts, sexual trauma
My Healing Requires This Trigger
Heed to the amygdala.
The amygdala strives to save
one’s heart from clogging
flow of blood.
(“Accept the oxygen BREATHE DAMNI- ”)
A potential murderer across the delicate
meat, seafood, veggies, and/or tofu of something
settled on plates (“ohwait, was it bowls??”)
His eyes begin at your chin.
His eyes smile - he’s fantasizing -
as his pupils fixate on your throat and
(“hey, the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex areas are deactivating”)
you wish you didn’t have genitals
because that’s where he’ll place
his unwashed hands that reek of
cigarettes like his eager mouth tongue and
he wheezes tobacco and food and is that wine
and uh the carpet as green!!!
“There is still hope for my limbic system.
How did this happen, why did it happen,
what could have been done differently?
The brain stem is still intact.”
WINSTON TL is a gaysian American of Indonesian & Taiwanese heritage. He is currently an MFA in Creative Writing student in Pacific Lutheran University’s Rainier Writing Workshop. His writing has been published by Variety Pack, Mixed Mag, NonBinary Review, decomp, EcoTheo Review, The Lit Pub, Papeachu Press, and elsewhere. His published work includes poetry, essays, & reviews, has been translated into Spanish, and has appeared in journals across three continents. Follow him on Instagram @faboo_boba_teh, and learn more about him here: https://about.me/winstontl!